Thursday, March 31, 2011

Picture Update

Well here is another body update picture. GROSS! I really honestly cant tell, but it looks like Im a little smaller. Im still a pig, just an itty bitty smaller version pig of the last picture I posted.
This has been so incredibly hard. Not that Im hungry or starving, just being able to find the right foods, and drinking enough water. I really dont drink enough, for example, its 3pm and I havent had a single drop of water. Not good.
I dont know how much I weigh because I havent been able to get to a scale.
I havent gone on any binges or anything.  But I have been feeding on lots of chicken noodle soups.. ugh.
I also need to be more active and not sit in bed and cry my fucking eyes out..which brings me to my next point...

My depression has an evil grip on my life and sometimes it loosens its grip enough for me to just breathe a little. 
Its so hard to stop thinking about my ex-boyfriend and all the shit he has done to me in the last 6 months and having to swallow the fact that he is apparently in love with some new girl, who can fit into a 2 piece bathing suit. A  girl he can look at naked with the lights on, he can kiss her flat tummy..
This really is brutal. I really need to get through this. Its eating me up inside. I feel like fucking dying.


  1. Hej Delilah !
    My name is Miriam and I'm from Germany.
    Just saw your photos on
    and i became a reader of your blog.
    I find it so sad that you're feeling so bad.
    Maybe I can give you some tips.
    Looove <3

  2. Hi gorgeous,

    I'm the same as Delilah, saw the pic on weheartit. You have a great body. I'm jealous of your tiny thin thighs! You also have a really small waist. I hope you can see these amazing positive things about your body, I certainly can.

    Have you thought about counselling/therapy? It sounds as though this is a really tough time for you.

    Love & support from a random stranger x

  3. hi guys, thanks for dropping by and for the incredible support.

    i have been in and out of therapy forever. i was on medications that ironically got me to gain tons of weight.

    i really dont see this 'pretty' person everyone tells me that I am. I see a fat deformed monster.


    1. in ur latest foto when u were 136.5, i was impressed...maybe u shuld read mii blog.

  4. #1 Have another random comment from a stranger. I also found your picture through WeHeartIt. Perhaps ironically, I found it while looking for images to use for a slideshow of beautiful women whose bodies don't get enough representation in the media. I was pretty shocked to follow the link to find you writing about hating your body.

    When I saw your picture (the "fat arms", "fat thighs", etc. one), I clicked on it thinking it was making fun of unrealistic body images in the media. What I saw was a perfectly normal and attractive female body with captions pointing out flaws that aren't there. I also thought, at first, that your moniker, "Princess Ugly," was ironic. You are NOT ugly. At all. There is NOTHING wrong with the body in that picture, or in the other ones of yourself. You look fine. More than that, your body has a shape that other women TRY to achieve.

    This is going to sound stupid since I don't know you, but I understand about struggling with depression and other mental issues, and even about meds that make you gain weight. I had to go on a medication that made me gain weight years ago for depression. I still haven't lost the weight, and I'm still taking my meds. I don't know how old you are (if you've said, I must have missed it), but I've struggled for YEARS to accept my own body. I'm 25 and I've just now stopped absolutely hating it. Sure, I'm not skinny, but you know what? I've realized that I'm curvy, that I'm always going to be curvy no matter what, and I look damn good like this. While I know you want to lose weight, I hope that you also eventually accept your body for whatever it is and that you can be happy with yourself.

    So your ex has a new girlfriend. So what. If he didn't like your body, that was HIS problem, not yours. And even though you feel insecure about your body, I can guarantee you that, if his new girlfriend is aware of you, she feels those same insecurities. I'm thinner than my boyfriend's ex, and I still feel worried that he misses her body and prefers it to mine. I'm willing to bet your ex's new girlfriend has wondered the same thing. If your ex didn't like your body, again, that's HIS damn problem, not yours. Trust me - you will find someone who loves your body for what it is. You will. There's not ONE perfect body type, despite what Hollywood would have women believe. Sure, there are men who attracted to skinny girls, but there are also plenty of men who are attracted to curvy girls, thick girls, big girls, etc. Every woman deserves a partner who wants her for what she is. Forget that guy. There are plenty of others out there. There really are.

  5. You also have to remember that because we see ourselves every day, we won't really notice a change unless it's significant. Just remember that you have to want it bad enough to do it and that you're the only one that can make that change. Trust me, I fight with it every day, but motivation does help and it keeps me out of the kitchen. :)