Picture Update

Well here is another body update picture. GROSS! I really honestly cant tell, but it looks like Im a little smaller. Im still a pig, just an itty bitty smaller version pig of the last picture I posted.

This has been so incredibly hard. Not that Im hungry or starving, just being able to find the right foods, and drinking enough water. I really dont drink enough, for example, its 3pm and I havent had a single drop of water. Not good.

I dont know how much I weigh because I havent been able to get to a scale.

I havent gone on any binges or anything.  But I have been feeding on lots of chicken noodle soups.. ugh.
I also need to be more active and not sit in bed and cry my fucking eyes out..which brings me to my next point...

My depression has an evil grip on my life and sometimes it loosens its grip enough for me to just breathe a little. 

Its so hard to stop thinking about my ex-boyfriend and all the shit he has done to me in the last 6 months and having to swallow the fact that he is apparently in love with some new girl, who can fit into a 2 piece bathing suit. A  girl he can look at naked with the lights on, he can kiss her flat tummy..

This really is brutal. I really need to get through this. Its eating me up inside. I feel like fucking dying.

And Im back!

Ok, so after a brief screw up this weekend. Im back to my restrictions and I feel pretty awesome. The headaches are gone and Ive been super active today.
I made my way to a scale and according to THAT scale Im at 61.9 kg which is about 136.5 lbs. YAY ME! I dont know why I lost some weight, considering I screwed up so bad and Im on my period.. Oh well.

Im drinking my water and staying faaar away from sugars, oils, salts and everything in between. Today I wore a pare of pants I have been quite embarrassed to wear in the past. I still look fat, but not as bad as I did before in them. I had to wear a long shirt to hid my nasty flab. Not today.
I will try to keep at it and weigh myself again on Wednesday. Here is todays thinspiration

ABC Diet: DAY 1

ABC Diet

So I started my ABC diet yesterday. Today is day 2. I had water, 3 glasses... I know, NOT GOOD, but I was incredibly depressed yesterday and couldn't even get out of bed. I had, 3 ounces of tuna with lemon, onions and cilantro 160 CALORIES and 2 slices of whole wheat bread 151 CALORIES each. A total of 462 for the day. I don't feel great and I don't feel awful. I'm certainly not starving, but I'm going to go buy an apple at the market today and make a salad. Hopefully I can keep it under 500 again today. This is the chart I will be referring to for portion sizes. 

Up All night obsessed with my Thinspiration

It 4:13AM (local time) and I cant sleep because I'm totally obsessing over this new goal and adventure I have set out for myself!
I'm researching every diet and trick in the book. Some of the stories out there are amazing!!! I'm so inspired. I want to do this so bad, but I often wonder, can a pig like me look THAT good and THAT skinny?!! It almost seems impossible! The flat tummies and the crazy pin thin legs, feels like I will never get there... but I have to try!!

Look at these hip bones! Amazing, beautiful, gorgeous.. this is what I want!!! I want to see my bones! I want these rolls of disgusting fat to be gone and I want to be beautiful just like this girl in this picture. I don't have much time. I really should have started this months ago... fuck!
At least I have woken up and I'm finally doing this!! I created this blog for many reasons, to document my weight-loss and be able to come back and see how I have shrunk, but also for support!! Please please help me thru this my beautiful Anas! I need your help. Together we can beat this!! I know it

I don't want to eat anymore.

Yesterday I went to the grocery store and bought tons of water and tuna.  This is going to be my diet for now, with the odd salad.  I have gotten a hold of some diet pills, they are called VERTE, they are similar to the ALLY diet pills in the States.
I am reading up on the ABC Diet and plan on starting it within the next few days.
I will do some major stretches tonight. I havent worked out in 2 months. Some Yoga stretches will help.

All I have had today was yogurt and water.  I will be taking all my stats tonight.
Pictures, weight, inches..everything. Time to post the Fat Monster and see of we can get her skinny again.